Jeanette Bechert, A Passionate Mind

September 1999 - Let my experience be a lesson to you. Please do not acquire a lot of useless material items. They are more of a burden than a blessing. Everything you own must be maintained. Better to have only what you absolutely need. It is surprising how little we really need.

August 28, 1999 - Everyone is given a blank canvas, and it is up to us what we choose to paint on it. It is very important that you keep a positive outlook and attitude. What you think and feel affects everything you do and everyone you come in contact with and often we only get ONE CHANCE TO DO IT RIGHT. So make everything count for the best you can be.

March 19, 1998 - It is very difficult for a woman to be FREE and TRULY EQUAL in our American culture. The Good Ole Boy and Double Standard attitude are alive and well. It appears that females go through similar trials of discrimination every generation. We have made progress, such as a woman being able to buy her own home in her own name. Women are kept in a very inferior position because it BENEFITS MEN!!!!!! It's sometimes more apparent here in Georgia than in California. But sometimes I just get very tired of fighting the system. We need young women to become aware and support other women. Some women discriminate against other women... they even think that men are superior. It's been a long road.

Jan 23, 1998 - Please study hard and make yourself as knowledgeable as you can, because that is your door to independence. Do not get caught up in all the junk the media tells you is important...it's just junk and will not add anything to the quality of your life. Think and CHOOSE for yourself. DO NOT let anyone do your thinking for you. Take your wisdom and help enlighten others.

December 9, 1997 - I intend to sew again when I retire (if I am lucky enough to live long enough). Also I would love to do some nature arts and crafts, read, walk in the woods, plant flowers and trees, and sit by the lake and watch the sunset. I would like to raise organic fruits, vegetables and herbs. I would like to read all those wonderful books I have been collecting for years. I would like to visit my children every few months, and my mother and my sisters and my brothers. I would like to sit around with my girlfriends and share my experiences and feelings...cry, laugh and whatever. Someday. None of us can avoid the trials (fire) of life...we just have to go through it to the other side.

Letter sent 1988 - Please always remember - memories and good feelings are worth more than money...life passes quickly - make the most of each moment. Be true to yourself...you can fool the world, but never yourself. Independence is very, very valuable - cherish it. Continue to follow your instincts, they are the route to self-fulfillment.

Mama's Newsletter

Here are excerpts from her newsletter to her family beginning in Jan. 1990. She wrote: "I intend to write about all of you, and about me and my feelings."

January 21, 1990 - Treat yourself and others the best you can. Everyone deserves the best.

January 28, 1990 - Living alone isn't so great, but it is peaceful. I am just beginning to feel comfortable with it. The worst part is having no one to share things with and the best part is no arguments. I know you can all relate to this.

February 4, 1990 - Forgive me for being such a strong person. I have given you the wrong message concerning how to be happy with your life. Do not think that you must struggle (like me) to be 'worthy'. Yes, be strong and tough at those times in life when fate and circumstances have dealt you a harsh blow. But be very, very, good, kind, gentle, indulgent to yourself during all those other times. For whatever reasons (mostly my own very bad choices) I have had a life of very hard work and much pain. I have been very strong and I have survived. One could even say that in comparison to others, I have flourished. Please do not use this as your role model. Life is meant to be savored. When it's 'flowing' (without effort) you know you're living it the way it was meant to be experienced. Your needless pain and suffering will not add one worthwhile thing to your life or humanity as a whole. Reserve your strength for those times in life (and I assure you that you will all have these times) when you are called upon to be 'superhuman'. Other times, just be human. Let an easy, gracious life restore your reserve, your reservoir of strength. This is so very, very, very important because when you go through life with your vessel full you have so much more to offer others and you will accomplish great things...the things you were put on this earth for. How do you know when you are fulfilling your purpose in life? You feel it! It feels effortless, and gives you deep soul-satisfaction. Few achieve this. God knows I am still trying to give myself permission to be me. But I am giving you permission to be you. Whatever that is, you know I will love you. My love is unconditional. So... you have nothing to lose and yourself to gain. Are you listening? Give up the artificial struggle. Save your strength for the real tests in life. Use your natural flow to create!

Feb 25,1990 - Encourage everyone you meet + Choose wisely as it will shape your life + If you wish for something to happen, you must act + Overcome adversity with faith + Share everything you have + More is not necessarily better + Omit everything in your life which takes you away from you + Meditate and pray daily + Enjoy the gift of life + Now is all you have...use it well + Think... and what you think you will become + Simplify, simplify, simplify.

March 4, 1990 - My thought for this week is to be very selective of your thoughts. What you think about will expand and eventually materialize. Your thoughts create your reality. You invent and reinvent yourself every day. Heaven is living the life you were supposed to lead.

March 25, 1990 - Very important to your mental state is your outlook (attitude) towards life. Control your thoughts as they will form your life. Stay positive. Read different viewpoints of philosophy and establish a set of values by which you lead your life. Develop a strong sense of character and never, never, never, compromise your integrity.

April 1, 1990 - Life seems so fleeting and at the same time it is non-ending. I want to grab it with both my hands but if I do so it slips through my fingers. If I let it float by me, it clings like the essence of perfume. This one life of mine has been like a hundred lives, and I have an unlimited soul which is expanding into infinity. Love goes on forever.

April 8, 1990 - Health is everything. Without your health you can't enjoy anything else.

May 13, 1990 - Never forget, that no matter how much of a 'couple' you are, you are first, and foremost, a whole person. You may choose to share your life with another, but you are fundamentally alone. Unless you are complete, by yourself, you can never become complete with another. Any 'voids' you feel within yourself must be filled by you. If your life is to have any meaning, then it is up to you to give your life that meaning.

May 20, 1990 - I went to a funeral on Friday and it just made me even more aware of how fleeting life is. Enjoy each day and fill it with meaning. And if you find happiness, wear it like a veil which lightly surrounds you. Remember that Love transcends death, and when my body is no longer here, my love is still with you.

May 28, 1990 - My only words of wisdom from my relationship experiences are:

Never let a bad situation continue without confronting it. It does not go away...it gets worse.

Better to prevent a bad situation than attempt to repair it once it has occurred.

Be more forgiving and tolerant of others and realize you are less than perfect yourself.

Always remember that what you give always SEEMS so much more valuable than what you receive... but it is only your perception.

If you keep score, you have already lost the game.

Anger only begets anger.

If you want to be understood, try understanding ...if you want love, try loving.

Life is just as difficult for the other person as it is for you.

Be as kind as loving as you can be.

June 6, 1990 - It is incredibly sad to me that the tradition of an extended family has ceased to exist, and that people die far away from their families and alone. I really don't think these new patterns of living we have created for ourselves are better. We now have more material things but less of the things that bring real contentment to life...love, belonging, sharing.

June 17, 1990 - There are no short cuts - you must do the 'inner ' work. The outside world will only reflect what you are inside. You and I must know ourselves...really know ourselves...first.

June 24, 1990 - Don't get caught up with 'doing' or 'having' , but instead, involve yourself with 'being'. Choose what you want to 'be' and then 'be it' ; act like it, think like it, feel like it and one day that is what you will 'be.' YOU CREATE YOURSELF.

July 1, 1990 - I don't know why this particular thought has popped into my head, but it has and I will share it with you. YOU MUST LIVE WITH COURAGE IF YOU ARE TO LIVE AT ALL. It would be so easy to give up and not put myself to the test all the time. But then again, if I did that I would never know what I am fully capable of. All I know is that I will continue to seek excellence in my life...in what I AM and in what I do. I don't know if I have said this recently, but if I have it is worth repeating. It is more important to create than to compete. You are here to create something new, something that expresses your uniqueness.

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July 8, 1990 - I am always trying to improve myself and my new 'self project' is to become more peaceful, calm, and patient. I realize that I move, act, talk, etc.. too fast. This habit of mine developed over the many years when I had too much to do (to survive) every day. Although that is no longer my situation, my response has become so ingrained that I do it without thinking about it. Now I must consciously work (and it is very hard work) at slowing myself down so that I can savor life...smell the roses along the way.

July 29, 1990 - Isn't it magnificent how things come into your life at precisely the right time (and leave also). I know now, for sure, that there is much more to this life than you see with your eyes (try seeing with your heart) or touch with your hands (try touching with your being).

August 3, 1990 - All these books I read as a youngster (ie; "The Magic of Believing" by Claude M. Bristol, 1948) had a tremendous influence on me, and the person I became. It is very important for you to carefully select what you bring (or allow) into your life. I know I have said it before, but it is worth repeating a hundred times. We must never minimize the influence other people have on us...so select carefully. When you become aware that you have made a bad choice, correct it immediately. Don't suffer through it. It will never be right, so the sooner you remove yourself from the situation, the better.

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Does it matter? What makes things matter? Why do things matter? How important is it that something matter at all? What happens when something you thought was so important turns out not to be so important? What would it mean if what mattered to you mattered to no one else? How stable would you feel? What would make you change what is important to you? Would you be willing to experiment with it?

- Jeannette Mancuso Bechert 1941-2000